Time/Life.

A lot of time has passed (over a year to be exact) since I last committed to sitting down and taking the time to write and really openly share my life with the few of you that actually take the time to read my ramblings. Recently though I've felt called to share some of my hardships and triumphs hoping that this slice of my life may impact you (my faithful readers) and allow you to learn a little bit of what God has taught me these past few months. So friends, settle in, and maybe grab a snack, because this will be a bit longer than many of the other blogs I've written and please, enjoy the ride.

In the past six months or so God has opened and shut more doors than I can count. I've had my dreams fulfilled and taken away, I've been built up and torn back down, I've laughed and even shed more than a couple tears, and most importantly I've been shown an unfailing love from not only God but from my community and my family that I haven't experienced in a really long time.

I've learned that God works in some really weird and confusing ways... For example, a few months ago I was given an opportunity that I had dreamt about for years. I was given a job rather unexpectedly that allowed me to tour around the country with some of my friends in a stinky van listening to loud music every night. It was perfect. I've never loved a job more than I loved that one. You know the old saying, "If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life"? Well I had heard that one a million times over and always thought that it was just a phrase that old people said to encourage the younger generation to keep working. But when I started working with/for my friends I finally understood the meaning of this saying and learned (to my surprise) that it could actually be true. My plan for life was to continue doing this for the next few years. I put everything on hold for it. I pushed back school, I pushed back family and even pushed a potential relationship away because in my eyes, it was all worth it to "live the dream". This became all I thought about and all I talked about, but just as quickly as it had been put into my life, it was taken away. I received a text one afternoon telling me that I wasn't going to be able to continue working for my friends and they were going to need to find someone more experienced and older to take my place. I was so torn apart. What I felt was mostly disappointment but it was also the realization that I had put everything else on hold for this and didn't have a clue how to get the balling rolling on "normal life" again. All I could see were the negative aspects of it, and my disappointment didn't allow me to see that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. During the six months that I toured I gained so much more than I realized. It allowed a break from the daily monotony that I experienced in "normal life", it paired me up with tons of new friends that I would have never been able to meet otherwise, and arguably the most important part is that it brought me closer to the friends I was working for. It allowed me to share in their lives and really get to know not only them as the people they are on the outside, but the people they are in the inside. I never would have been able to do that as well and as quickly as I did while living a mere 5 feet from them in that smelly van for days on end. Those are friendships that I wouldn't trade for much of anything.

Another thing that God has made so very clear to me in the recent past is how unbelievably blessed I am to have the community that I have. I am a person who is greatly affected by what I surround myself with. When I was younger I surrounded myself with people who were the same age as me and made really dumb decisions, which in turn caused me to follow along and the same dumb decisions. By the time I made it into high school I was one of the most easily influenced people I knew, but by a crazy series events (which included me losing all of my friends from school) I was thrust into a loving group of people all older than myself who all had good heads on their shoulders and really took me under their wings. The whole "it takes a village to raise a child" applied pretty well to the situation... For the past couple years I've been held accountable, had people to call and cry to when everything goes wrong, and has tons of people to share life and laughs with. For the longest time I never really thought anything of this, but (as stated above) I realized recently that without this group of people I wouldn't be who I am and where I am today, so for them and the impacts they have made on my life, I am eternally grateful.

The lesson in all of this is that God is not a predictable being. You can pray and plead for things to go one way and it may seem right in your eyes but God can have other plans for your life and He will never fail you. Allow the changes and unexpected events come and when they do, welcome them.

Read between the lines. Not everything is as it seems at first glance. Hardships can become triumphs. Tears can turn to laughter, and what may seem to be an awful situation could actually turn out to be one of the best things to happen to you.

Thank you for reading my words and taking time to listen to my rant.

Forward.

The Lord calls us to look forward to where we want to go, but too often we only look at the places that we don't want to go (sin); knowing that we don't want to go there. This only draws us to our sin even more. Think about how a person that is on a diet, constantly thinks about all the food that they cant eat. This seemingly harmless act really ends up being destructive. It just makes them want that food even more.
Our focus should be on the good news of salvation, not our sins. We should take comfort in knowing that through our faith and through the death of Christ, we are forgiven, and therefore all our sins is paid for.
Do not dwell on what is already done.

Bleed.

So its going to irritate me to death till I can figure out where I heard it, but a couple days ago, I heard the line, "Pray until your mouth bleeds". My initial reaction was one of surprise. I was confused by the statement, and what it really meant. As a few days passed, it really dawned on me what the deep meaning behind those 5 little words was.

In today's society, and more specifically the Christian faith, prayer is not what it used to be. Look back 50 years ago where the average Christian family would not even think about touching their food before a prayer thanking God was said. Now a days, prayer often falls to the wayside, excuses like, "I'm too busy" and "Its not necessary" are common speak. But the Lord desires, and more importantly deserves all of the praise and glory we can give him. If not for him, we wouldn't even be alive. But because we are sinners we often forget that.

What "Praying until our mouths bleed" means is that we as Believers need to pray none stop. We need to pray even when it is hard. We must pray even when it hurts us to do so. We need to pray when we are thankful, when we are sad, when we are angry, and any time in between. 

1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to "Pray without ceasing." and if you really think about it, that's not to far off from the whole mouth bleeding thing... We as a Christian culture need to get back into that mentality of praying all the time. The Lord deserves nothing less.

Risen.

For many years, I suffered from depression. The was just always an overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness. For the past couple years, the Lord has given me the strength to overcome the feelings that depression brings, but every once in a while they rise to the surface and grab me once more. Tonight is one of those times.
I feel so alone. I desire nothing more than to surround myself with my friends and just melt away. But sadly that is not an option. What I will do is pray.  I will pray that this will pass and I will pay for the strength to carry on. Because no matter what the Devil tries to make me believe, my God won't let me fall.

The Past.

So a ridiculous amount of time has passed since I posted anything, but I got super lazy and let this fall to the wayside, which is exactly what shouldn't happen... Anyway, I figured I'd go ahead and share a bit of my past and a big lesson I had to learn a few years ago.

I used to be a compulsive liar. If I was speaking, you could probably safely assume 90% of what I was saying was not true. You could tell me that the sky was blue and I'd think of 20 different ways to tell you that it is most definitely red. I'm still not sure where this stupid tendency came from, but I can assure you, it was out of control. I never put much thought into it either. I allowed it to overwhelm me to the point to where I was living in a huge web of lies, and let me tell you, that is not an easy way to live. It is exhausting trying to remember who you told what to and what you need to say to keep the lies going. My life began to fall apart...

The lies kept growing and growing. I would lay awake at night having panic attacks thinking about what would happen if people saw through the lies I had fabricated for so long. It was taking such a huge, unnecessary toll on me. I began to not sleep much and to get super depressed, but even through all of that, I kept lying! It was a cycle that kept repeating over and over until that one fateful day where it all came to an end (another story for another time.)

At the time I was devastated that I had been found out and was pissed about the consequences, but I also felt a strange sense of comfort wash over me. I was finally free of all the lies and deceit that had defined me for so long.

I've come to realize how much God shaped me throughout that period of time. From the feelings of sadness to the day where I was found out. God showed me how hurtful something as simple as a small lie can be to Him, myself, and those I love. He also showed me how it can turn into a huge issue. This really helped me see sin in a new way. Not just lies but all sin, and how it is all the same. In Gods eyes, a lie is no worse than killing someone; sin is sin, and it pains Him just the same. This was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn, but I cant even describe how thankful I am that I learned it. It has made me into the person I am today.

Not sinning is a huge struggle for all believers, but it is something that we are called to do to show our love for our Savior. I cant say that I haven't lied since I got caught, but I have made it my goal to try and live like I am called to by Christ. I do this not just because the Bible tells me too( which is reason enough) but simply because God knows that we will fail, but loves us anyway, and that love drives me to be better and to actively try to be who God wants me to be.

Romans 3:23-26 "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace and through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood- to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he left the sins committed beforehand unpunished- he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus."

Thank you God for seeing past my failures and flaws and loving me anyway. Thank you for pulling me out of the deep hole I threw myself into and holding me tight in your arms. You are a glorious God, and I am so thankful for you and all you do.
Amen.

Age.

So today I am stuck at home babysitting my brother and sister and decided it might be fun to give all you readers (its funny cause pretty much no one reads this) a quick visual trip through the past 9 years of my life. Through those years, I have laughed, cried, been broken, been built back up, loved the Lord, hated the Lord and everything in between. Those many years have really formed me into who I am today. 

Now on a less sappy note, many of these pictures are comical. Feel free to laugh at me, I embrace it. In fact, Ill even through in some attempted humor in my captions... Enjoy!

Now lets get this show on the road! Im going to start in approximately 2004. I was 9 years old.

I had the biggest gap between my two front teeth...It was atrocious.

Now onto 2005. I was 10. Heading into 5th grade.

This is when I began trying real hard to be a skater. Hence the shaggy locks and gaudy skate tee.

ONWARD to 2006. Making my way into middle school.

I also thought I could play guitar just because I had been given one. I was terrible.

This was also the year dying my hair black seemed like a good idea. Funny thing was, we bough the wrong dye and my hair was "blue-black" for a while till it faded into pure black. Those were dark times. (No pun intended)

2007. The year of wonder (not really.) 7th grade.

There is that freaking shirt again.... 

Aaaannnnnd 2008. 8th grade. One of the worst time periods of my life.

I was pretty awesome by this point in my life. Long hair, don't care.

2009! Into high school.

Black and white mirror pic.... Nuff said.

Sidenote: This is the year that wearing tight jeans and horrendous band shirts began. Some may say, "The dawning of a new era."

And so begins 2010. Sophomore year.

Slouch beanie making its way into the picture. Living the dream.

Still reppin' the black v-neck.

Onto 2011! Into my Junior year.

Getting a bit closer to my current self..

Nothing funny about this picture. To be honest, all it portrays is abuse.

2012. Current day.

So here we are. 12 pictures and 9 years later. So much has changed physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Many people would kill their firstborn to go back to the days of youth, but, I am not one of those people. I am so excited for what God has in store for me, and am looking forward to growing up and fully being the man the Lord wants me to be. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reminisce with me. 

Justin Slaughter  

January 13th 2012.

 

10 Days of prayer. Day 10- Lust.

I am pretty blown away that I was able to do all 10 days! I am known to be forgetful, but God really put it on my heart to finish this, and I'm so glad I did! I learned a whole lot in the process and I really thankful for that. My last day of prayer is dedicated to lust just for the simple fact that is something I think everyone struggles with in some way or another. This is not just talking about sexual lust, but lust for anything, which is something so prominent in today's society that it's disturbing.

Dear Lord,
I am so grateful that you kept me on track these past 10 days and helped me complete the task I had set out for myself. Tonight I really want to pray about lust Lord, and because I know that I struggle with it more than other things. I admit to this Lord, and pray that you can take this from me Lord. I don't want to any longer take part in this sin in any form Lord. I don't want to be sexually lustful any longer, and I don't want to be lustful towards the world in general. It becomes so easy to get caught up in the pleasures of this world Lord no matter what they may be. I have been so caught up in being lustful towards sex, and money and material things, I often blatantly ignore the fact that you clearly call us to rise above those things and look not towards the pleasures of this world, and but towards the pleasure you have laid out for us with you in heaven. Tonight Lord, I want to not only call out for forgiveness, but I also want to ask for the strength to throw these worldly temptations aside and run towards your awaiting arms Lord. You are a God who forgives, redeems, and and gives strength. I am so thankful for that Lord. I am so thankful that you care. I am so thankful that you are my God and my father who loves me.
Thank you.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen.