Risen.

For many years, I suffered from depression. The was just always an overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness. For the past couple years, the Lord has given me the strength to overcome the feelings that depression brings, but every once in a while they rise to the surface and grab me once more. Tonight is one of those times.
I feel so alone. I desire nothing more than to surround myself with my friends and just melt away. But sadly that is not an option. What I will do is pray.  I will pray that this will pass and I will pay for the strength to carry on. Because no matter what the Devil tries to make me believe, my God won't let me fall.

The Past.

So a ridiculous amount of time has passed since I posted anything, but I got super lazy and let this fall to the wayside, which is exactly what shouldn't happen... Anyway, I figured I'd go ahead and share a bit of my past and a big lesson I had to learn a few years ago.

I used to be a compulsive liar. If I was speaking, you could probably safely assume 90% of what I was saying was not true. You could tell me that the sky was blue and I'd think of 20 different ways to tell you that it is most definitely red. I'm still not sure where this stupid tendency came from, but I can assure you, it was out of control. I never put much thought into it either. I allowed it to overwhelm me to the point to where I was living in a huge web of lies, and let me tell you, that is not an easy way to live. It is exhausting trying to remember who you told what to and what you need to say to keep the lies going. My life began to fall apart...

The lies kept growing and growing. I would lay awake at night having panic attacks thinking about what would happen if people saw through the lies I had fabricated for so long. It was taking such a huge, unnecessary toll on me. I began to not sleep much and to get super depressed, but even through all of that, I kept lying! It was a cycle that kept repeating over and over until that one fateful day where it all came to an end (another story for another time.)

At the time I was devastated that I had been found out and was pissed about the consequences, but I also felt a strange sense of comfort wash over me. I was finally free of all the lies and deceit that had defined me for so long.

I've come to realize how much God shaped me throughout that period of time. From the feelings of sadness to the day where I was found out. God showed me how hurtful something as simple as a small lie can be to Him, myself, and those I love. He also showed me how it can turn into a huge issue. This really helped me see sin in a new way. Not just lies but all sin, and how it is all the same. In Gods eyes, a lie is no worse than killing someone; sin is sin, and it pains Him just the same. This was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn, but I cant even describe how thankful I am that I learned it. It has made me into the person I am today.

Not sinning is a huge struggle for all believers, but it is something that we are called to do to show our love for our Savior. I cant say that I haven't lied since I got caught, but I have made it my goal to try and live like I am called to by Christ. I do this not just because the Bible tells me too( which is reason enough) but simply because God knows that we will fail, but loves us anyway, and that love drives me to be better and to actively try to be who God wants me to be.

Romans 3:23-26 "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace and through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood- to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he left the sins committed beforehand unpunished- he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus."

Thank you God for seeing past my failures and flaws and loving me anyway. Thank you for pulling me out of the deep hole I threw myself into and holding me tight in your arms. You are a glorious God, and I am so thankful for you and all you do.
Amen.

Age.

So today I am stuck at home babysitting my brother and sister and decided it might be fun to give all you readers (its funny cause pretty much no one reads this) a quick visual trip through the past 9 years of my life. Through those years, I have laughed, cried, been broken, been built back up, loved the Lord, hated the Lord and everything in between. Those many years have really formed me into who I am today. 

Now on a less sappy note, many of these pictures are comical. Feel free to laugh at me, I embrace it. In fact, Ill even through in some attempted humor in my captions... Enjoy!

Now lets get this show on the road! Im going to start in approximately 2004. I was 9 years old.

I had the biggest gap between my two front teeth...It was atrocious.

Now onto 2005. I was 10. Heading into 5th grade.

This is when I began trying real hard to be a skater. Hence the shaggy locks and gaudy skate tee.

ONWARD to 2006. Making my way into middle school.

I also thought I could play guitar just because I had been given one. I was terrible.

This was also the year dying my hair black seemed like a good idea. Funny thing was, we bough the wrong dye and my hair was "blue-black" for a while till it faded into pure black. Those were dark times. (No pun intended)

2007. The year of wonder (not really.) 7th grade.

There is that freaking shirt again.... 

Aaaannnnnd 2008. 8th grade. One of the worst time periods of my life.

I was pretty awesome by this point in my life. Long hair, don't care.

2009! Into high school.

Black and white mirror pic.... Nuff said.

Sidenote: This is the year that wearing tight jeans and horrendous band shirts began. Some may say, "The dawning of a new era."

And so begins 2010. Sophomore year.

Slouch beanie making its way into the picture. Living the dream.

Still reppin' the black v-neck.

Onto 2011! Into my Junior year.

Getting a bit closer to my current self..

Nothing funny about this picture. To be honest, all it portrays is abuse.

2012. Current day.

So here we are. 12 pictures and 9 years later. So much has changed physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Many people would kill their firstborn to go back to the days of youth, but, I am not one of those people. I am so excited for what God has in store for me, and am looking forward to growing up and fully being the man the Lord wants me to be. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reminisce with me. 

Justin Slaughter  

January 13th 2012.

 

10 Days of prayer. Day 10- Lust.

I am pretty blown away that I was able to do all 10 days! I am known to be forgetful, but God really put it on my heart to finish this, and I'm so glad I did! I learned a whole lot in the process and I really thankful for that. My last day of prayer is dedicated to lust just for the simple fact that is something I think everyone struggles with in some way or another. This is not just talking about sexual lust, but lust for anything, which is something so prominent in today's society that it's disturbing.

Dear Lord,
I am so grateful that you kept me on track these past 10 days and helped me complete the task I had set out for myself. Tonight I really want to pray about lust Lord, and because I know that I struggle with it more than other things. I admit to this Lord, and pray that you can take this from me Lord. I don't want to any longer take part in this sin in any form Lord. I don't want to be sexually lustful any longer, and I don't want to be lustful towards the world in general. It becomes so easy to get caught up in the pleasures of this world Lord no matter what they may be. I have been so caught up in being lustful towards sex, and money and material things, I often blatantly ignore the fact that you clearly call us to rise above those things and look not towards the pleasures of this world, and but towards the pleasure you have laid out for us with you in heaven. Tonight Lord, I want to not only call out for forgiveness, but I also want to ask for the strength to throw these worldly temptations aside and run towards your awaiting arms Lord. You are a God who forgives, redeems, and and gives strength. I am so thankful for that Lord. I am so thankful that you care. I am so thankful that you are my God and my father who loves me.
Thank you.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen.

10 Days of prayer. Day 9- Words.

So tonight at my small group, I said somethings via twitter that I should not have. I put little to no thought into it and really hurt some people. I regret this very much. The kicker was the fact that our topic for the night was "watching your tongue. " We were going to discuss James chapter 3 which talks all about how words carry so much weight. I was able to clear everything up with my group, send but still feel pretty crappy about it. Hence the prayer that follows.

Dear Lord,
I have a big issue with watching my words, and also stopping to think about how my words will affect those around me. I just want to pray that I can learn alot from the book of James and really apply it to my life. I also want to thank you that my group was able to teach me alot tonight. I want to pray for strength and guidance so I can fix this issue Lord in a way that pleases you. You have brought me this far Lord and I have no doubt that you can help me the rest of the way as well.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen.

10 Days of prayer. Day 8- Zac.

For a bit of back story on this whole relationship see my discipleship post.

Dear Lord,
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for Zac. The man has become one of my bestfriends and one of my biggest influences. You are able to teach me so much through him that I can't get from other places. I am driven to do better and be better because of him Lord and that's something I needed desperately. Not only that Lord, I have gained such a good friend as well. I am able to share laughs and pain, hope and sadness, and most importantly, love and growth. Thank you again for Zac, and thank you for the wisdom I have gained that make me who I am today.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen.

10 Days of prayer. Day 7- Patience.

Dear Lord,
I am by far one of the most impatient people I have ever seen. I for the life of me cannot wait on anything, I also snap at people at the drop of a hat. Keeping my cool isn't the easiest thing for me. The worst part is that I don't even see that what I'm doing is wrong or its not justified till well after I've done wrong. I just want to pray against that right now Lord. I pray that you will give me the strength to be more patient and give me the strength to be kinder as well. Help me to not snap at people (who may or may not deserve it) when I'm frustrated and impatient. Thank you for knowing my flaws and loving me anyway.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen.